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“Hey, honey. Do you want to go to James’ son’s wedding?” That seemed like an innocent enough question.
New skirt, check. New shoes, check. Hair done, check. Even hose, check. This is kind of nice. I haven’t gotten all dolled up in some time. I wouldn’t recommend it on a daily basis, but it has its charm.
Arriving at the reception hall, we are looking good. I am managing not to walk like a 13 year old in my new 4 inch heels, and my dapper husband is dressed for success and remembered to zip up his pants. We stroll in, arm in arm, working the room as we smile and point and shake hands.
Wow, the buffet line has formed already? We jump in. As we survey the elegant atmosphere, we decide we should probably find a table to claim. Just then, we see familiar hands waving our way. Hey, friends we haven’t seen in forever. Yes, of course, we’ll sit with you just as soon as we get through the line.
Food in hand, we take our seats and start catching up. All smiles. “Really? Dan just got a pacemaker put in 4 months ago?” Wow. “Steve, what are all these staples from? You say you just had your second knee surgery?” Oh, my. “Jane, you are too young to be going through the change. You’re on hormones?” Hmmm. “Ben and Sarah, you have to leave so soon? Oh, you have to get to bed early?” I see. No, my husband did not just talk about his high blood pressure. Ugh.
As I watch the young couple on the dance floor share their first waltz, the room starts spinning. My heart races, I perspire. Suddenly, I believe I quit breathing. The screaming in my mind is deafening. How? When? This…can’t….be!
It’s official. I now sit at the old people’s table. It seems they are becoming bionic even. Better….stronger….oh, but not faster.
That’s it. I’m making a break for it. My husband married the young trophy wife, remember? I don’t belong here. I’ve got to create a diversion. I’m sure people are wondering why I would be seated in this circle of foreign parts and prescription medicines anyway. Easy does it. I’ll slip away real quiet like. Slight turn to get the heels untangled; rising; nobody seems to notice; ….owww….anguish, anguish….Charlie cramp! Maybe I’ll sit for a few minutes longer and rest.
cmtreadway 